What Would I Do Without Chris?

One day I asked Chris what I would do without him,

"You would be really bored."

Like when he jumps fully clothed in the bathtub with Lilly

…

I stopped by Winco after work one day on a very cold January evening.  Chris had agreed to cook some steaks for dinner.  By the time I was done with Winco I was more than ready for a nice hot dinner.  However, my dreams were cut short when Chris called me telling me the steaks hadn’t thawed. “Don’t worry, I’ll think of something for dinner.  It will probably involve something out of a can,” he said.

I was disappointed.  I really wanted a nice hot, REAL dinner that night.

I got home thirty minutes later and the good smell I smelled was actually coming from our apartment!  I walked in and Chris was sautéing something!  What the?

“I thought you were going to make Spagetios or something?” I asked

“I wanted to surprise you,” Chris said smiling. “Um, how much is one clove of garlic?” 

“How much did you put in?”

“Is this a clove of garlic?” he held up a whole head.

“Um no.  Is that what you used?”

He smiled guiltily and didn’t say anything.

Offering the prayer that night he said, “Please don’t let the food made us sick, and please let it taste good and not too garlicy.”

…

When Lilly was about a month old Chris was sleeping on the couch with her when he snapped awake and said, "Where's the onion rings?"

"The what?"

He didn't answer; instead, he just looked around.

"Chris, where are we?" I asked several times.

"The moon," he replied.

…

A couple months ago I got on Chris’s case about putting a new liner in the garbage can when he took out the garbage on his way to school.  Exasperated Chris said, “Well what do you want me to do?  Take the garbage out and then come all the way back to the apartment to put a liner in when the garbage?  That’ll take five extra minutes, and I don’t have that time when I’m on my way to school!”

“No,” I said disbelievingly.  “I want you to take the full garbage out, set it down, put a liner in the pail, then take the garbage out on your way to school.”

“Oh…”

I just had to laugh at that one. 

…

My favorite non-boring incident happened about a week ago. Chris was home four about an hour.  He helped me take care of Lilly before heading off to a study group.  Later that evening I was out talking to a friend when Lilly pooped.  I went in to change her.  When I took off her pants poop gushed out of her onsie.  I had never seen so much poop outside of her diaper in my life.  As I went to carefully unbutton her onsie I noticed something was terribly wrong. 

She didn’t have a diaper on. 

Who changed her last? I thought.

It was Chris.  He changed her right before he left, and left me to clean up the diaperless-poop mess.  But I made him clean her clothes off when he got back. 

I couldn’t do anything but laugh as I used about 10 wipes to try to get all the poop off, then, giving up, put her in the bath.  At least she liked the bath.

And at least my night was anything but dull.

I can't help but love him and all his craziness!