While serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints in Chicago, IL, I came in contact with many families, some of
which were fatherless. I watched one
little girl happily playing on her dirty floor, oblivious to the fact her
father was not in her life at the moment. I wondered if she would ever really know her
father, or would his name simply appear on a child-support check her mother received
every month?
Father’s play such a vital role in children’s lives. They prepare children to function in an
environment outside of Mom’s care. They
make us laugh, they embarrass us, they teach us, they play with us, they love
us.
I asked for stories of the men in your lives, and here are
some of the stories I received.
Dads bless us spiritually. They are a guiding force in our life. They are examples of good in the world.
My dad
has strength beyond words. I would not be where I am today if it wasn't for
him. My dad converted into the church when I was a toddler. He then took my mom
and us children to be sealed in the temple as an eternal family. He has
always been a shining example to us as kids, but now as adults he continues to
lead us. He constantly shows by his action and through his words that he loves
and cares about all of us.
My
sister-in-law recently was baptized; the spirit that filled the room in my
parent’s family room was indescribable. There, all together we stood...My father
(convert), mother, aunt, grandparents, myself, David my husband (convert), our
children, my brother Brandon, my brother Derek and Heather his wife (convert).
All
because of one man's decision...and his loving example, we are building a
family…an eternal family.
~Brandy
“Fathers, yours is an eternal calling from which you are
never released . . . .its importance transcends time. It is a calling for both time and eternity.”
~Ezra Taft Benson “To the Fathers in Israel” Ensign Nov 1987
My dad taught me
about loving people and the Lord. He loved to connect with people and find
common ground. The first time I brought my now husband home to meet my parents
my dad talked his ear off. Brad, my husband, has lived many places as a result
if his dad being in the Air Force. Each time Brad would bring up a new place
they had lived, my dad would try to find a connection...someone he knew, a time
he had visited. Two hours later they still hadn't gotten through all the places
Brad had lived.
My dad taught me
that no job was beneath him. He worked as a custodian for The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints for most of my childhood. I can remember many times when he brought
families that needed help home. They would have stopped at the church looking
for help and he was always happy to share a meal or help fix a car. He taught
me to love The Lord and trust that The Lord loves me enough to allow me to have
struggles, but that He would be there to help me. My dad passed away five years
ago and I very much look forward to the time when I can get a big bear hug from
him again!!
~Kristen
I
was about 8. My dad flew to a cattle sale and I got to go with him. We flew in
a four-seater plane. It was my first time on an airplane and I was pretty
nervous. He gave me a piece of Cinnamon Trident gum during take off so my ears
didn't get plugged. He took my small, soft hand in his large calloused one and
he talked to me the entire plane ride. This is one of the only memories
(outside of working on the farm) that I had my dad all to myself.
We
landed in a dark field behind the cattle sale yard. When we went into the sale,
he bought me a big hamburger and we settled in to buy cattle. There were so
many men that said hi to my dad. I wondered how they all knew him. I found out
later that my dad was highly respected among his peers because of his honesty
and integrity.
My
dad is the greatest man I know. He has never compromised his integrity to get
ahead in business. His family and the gospel are his first priorities and I
love him for being such a great example.
~Wrendy
My
husband, Cody, and my dad share qualities and traits. They are both black
& white honest. They do not care what anyone else thinks about their
decisions. The both live and talk the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Cody
is a great dad. He loves his son Chase, and tells him often.
~Amy
My Dad had 5
daughters first. Since there were no sons, and Dad still needed a helper,
that helper was usually me. Working closely with dad helped me develop a
deep love and adoration for him. As an adult, the most powerful reasons I
love my dad are not because of the things we did together, but rather the
things he taught me. My foundation of a fervent testimony of the gospel
lay in the faith I had in my dad— wherever he went, I would follow.
Winters in the town
I grew up in, in Iowa were very harsh. When it snowed, it was often
measured in feet, not inches. Oft times, I was the daughter selected to
go out and help my Dad shovel the walks. As winter skies darken in late
afternoon. By the time dad returned from
work the light from the street lamp reflected on the snow to give a strange
laminating light to the task. The sounds of the shovel scraping the
sidewalk and Dad’s breath as he worked hard and quick became sounds of comfort
for me.
I remember a
particular evening that Dad had assigned me to help shovel the walks. I
was eight years old, short and scrawny. There had been at least a foot
and a half of new snow that day. As I tried to walk down the steps to the
sidewalk, trying to catch up to Dad, I could barely move. Every time I
put my foot down, it sank up past my knee in the fresh snow. My dad kept
turning around and calling for me to catch up. I was trying to be tough
(certainly a trait I was known for) and move quickly towards Dad, but I was
truly having a tough time moving at all. I began to get frustrated and
tears fell down my cheeks. Dad turned around again to call to me, and saw
me crying. He came back to where I was struggling in the snow and pointed
to his footsteps in the snow. He told me that if I walked in his
footsteps I wouldn’t get stuck. He had paved the way with his larger
boot. We were both headed to the same place and all I needed to do was
follow him. And I did. Not just in the snow that night, but in learning
to live the gospel and learning to enjoy the happiness that brings to my life
as I feel the love of my Heavenly Father and enjoy the blessings He grants me
as I obey.
~Jackie
My father taught me hard work. A phrase he repeated over and over when I was
growing up, “Go clean the kitchen, and
then I’ll come and expect your work.” Oh how I hated that phrase. He would come and inspect what seemed to be
every crack in the room I had just cleaned.
Often, I would have to do something over again because I didn’t do it
right the first time.
I thought he was just being mean, but in reality he was
teaching me how to do a job completely without “cheating.” This helped me later in life when I entered
college and couldn’t skim by in classes, then when I entered the working field
and couldn’t fudge on my job. I’m so
thankful he taught me to do a job completely and not skip around the
edges.
~Amanda
 |
| Dad supervising Project Rock |
“My dad drifted
through foster care, the nave, and even jobs until he and my mom joined The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
His testimony and his family became his anchor and was a huge influence
on me.
~Mindy
Dad’s can be pretty funny too…and embarrassing. I think it’s a dad’s role to embarrass his
children (and his wife too).
 |
| Dad at his 85th birthday |
My dad loved
playing little "jokes" on us when we were kids. Almost all his
"jokes" were in story form, like how he met my mother:
When we asked him
how our mom and he met, he told us he met her in Italy. They were riding
separate condoles, cutting down spaghetti that grew in the fields of water,
using machetes,
He said he took
one look at this beautiful French woman with black hair (true) and he was
smitten. He told us from that moment on they shared the machetes they used and
also the same gondola.
We all believed
that story when he told it. My youngest sibling, my brother Bruce, was in
school one day and the teacher asked the class if anyone knew how spaghetti
came about. Bruce, was waving his hand wildly to give the answer.
He was so proud to know the answer to this question.
He told the story
to his class all about how the spaghetti grew in water and how he and my mom
met there and cut down the spaghetti with machetes.
My brother's
teacher asked him who told him that. Of course, my brother answered,
"My dad!" His teacher didn't tell how it was done. He
knew my parents and told them about this. It has become but one of the
many family stories we have about my dad.
~Carmen
“We had some cereal that came in a box shaped like a milk
carton and a bunch of us were sitting
around the kitchen table and passing the cereal box around, and the guys were
pouring a little in their hands and eating it like granola. Grandpa, my husband, grabbed the milk carton,
thinking it was the box of granola and poured himself a handful of milk. We all
nearly died laughing. He didn't think it was that funny.”
~Valdine
I received this
picture from my brother, Jackson, a few days ago.
It was followed the
next day by this message:
“Here's a story on Jefferson. He beat
me at Settlers tonight, but he usually doesn't, because I’m better”
Jefferson is a superhero for beating Jackson. Jackson wins at everything, so when someone
beats him it makes the family newsletter . . . if we had one.
Dads are our guardians. They are our rock. They are there for us when we need someone
the most.
I
distinctly remember three years ago when the nurse had just confirmed our fear
. . . I was going into labor at 31 weeks with my first baby. I remember feeling
helpless, scared, and terrified for the tiny baby that was coming all too early.
My husband was my rock . . . my strength and my comfort. He did not leave my
side once while I was bed ridden for the next 30 hours. He soothed me with
words of comfort, held my hand. Just his
presence alone told me I . . . we would be fine.
After
delivering our baby girl, the nurses and doctors hastily started working
on her to stabilize her little body. I will never forget David looking at me
and saying, "Brandy, you did it! She is crying and breathing . . . she is
going to be fine."
A few
hours later David took me back to the NICU so I could meet her. She was the
tiniest babe I had ever laid eyes on. But once again David assured me she was
stable and that she was doing great. I am sure deep inside David was as scared
as I was . . . of the 'what-ifs' and 'what could go wrongs'. But he comforted
me, which helped me to tend for our 3lb bundle of joy. I was able to put my
fear aside and concentrate on giving her words of encouragement to grow and eat
on her own.
Because
of my husband’s strength, I was able to have strength that was then passed to
my daughter.
I am
grateful for my husband, and his leading example through thick and thin.
~Brandy
“My dad
could fit a four bedroom house in a three bedroom U-Haul.
I now
know he put aside a lot of hopes and dreams to help raise a family, and for
that I’m grateful.
He gave
me my love of animals.
~Doreen
The other day I read a Facebook post about a young mom who
went out to dinner with her mom and sister-in-law, leaving her husband to watch
their baby. All he had to do was give
the baby a bath and a bottle, then put her to sleep. When the mom came home the husband was livid
because he had to change the sheets on the bed.
I read that and thought, “I am so thankful my husband is not like
that.”
If it wasn’t for Chris I honestly don’t think I’d
survive. He gives me much-needed breaks
during the day, even if that means staying a little later on campus at night to
finish up homework. He gets up in the
middle of the night to put Lilly to sleep when I’ve had a long day of crying
baby. He doesn’t mind eating frozen
pizza for dinner when I haven’t had the time to cook a real meal. And I never hear him complain that he doesn’t
have time to help me clean the apartment (he is an excellent toilet cleaner
;).
~Amanda
My dad always said
“there is never a problem we can’t solve together.” I always knew I could go to my dad for anything!”
~Cheri
When I was in my second semester of my freshman college year I called him to
ask him to move money over from my savings to my checking so I could make my
final tuition payment. I was really doubting if college was worth the
investment. My dad heard my frustration
and my doubt and the next day you called to say he'd move the money but he had
moved it from his savings account. Then he said to me, I know you're doubting
whether or not it's worth it but I want you to know you and your education are
worth MY investment. After shedding a couple of tears I never looked back and
finished my degree. I was the first in my family tree to graduate from college.
~Anne
~Valdine
Every
day of my junior year in high school my dad woke up extra early to make me
pancakes and bacon before zero hour. I have the fondest memories of
eating breakfast with him that year at 6:10 in the morning. Thanks dad!
you are a wonderful example of daily and selfless service.
~Jackson
One of my greatest heroes is my grandpa Skinner. Here are few stories of him from his
daughters, and one from me.
It's almost
Father's Day so I start thinking about all the wonderful qualities my dad has.
He's the hardest working person I know. He taught me to work hard. And as a
kid, I hated it. The work never ended. We lived on a farm. I moved hand lines
& wheel lines daily. I swathed hay, picked up rocks, fed animals, drove
tractor, chopped hay, weeded, drove truck, branded cattle, plucked feathers off
chickens, and many other things. Not until I graduated from high school and
left home did I realize what a blessing all of that work was. Thanks Dad for
teaching me how to work hard.
~Delene
The conclusion that
I've come to is that when kids are young they need a dad. They don't
need a friend. They need a dad. They need that constant,
good influence in their life so that kids see by example right from
wrong. My dad lived that and still does. And I believe that because
my dad was a dad when I was growing up and not my "friend"—that is
why we are friends today. He never made excuses for the way he
lived. He never apologized. He did what was right and he was a
stellar example. When I chose to live contrary to the way I had been
taught—my dad still stayed true to his faith. I knew he still loved me,
but he didn't condone my decisions. Today we are friends. I'm not
saying that we weren't friends before, but now that I'm older I see what he
did.
~Amy
When I was fourteen
my family, along with my aunt, uncles, and grandpa, went on a pack trip, complete
with mules and horses. It was my first
experience camping for real. No running
water, unless you counted the rivers and streams, the bathroom was a hole in
the ground, no cell service, and if you got hurt it was a 10-mile horse ride to
the trailhead. We ate a lot of dirt that
week. One thing my grandpa kept
repeating that week as I picked dirt out of my food was, “A little dirt never
hurts.” I repeat that often now.
Through those
simple words my grandpa taught me that those little pieces of dirt that get
into our life won’t hurt us if we don’t let them. Bad things will happen, we will make
mistakes, but we can’t let those stop us from enjoying life, just like those
little pieces of dirt didn’t stop him from munching on the head of a
trout.
~Amanda
"God bless
you, dear fathers. May He bless you with wisdom and judgment, with
understanding, with self-discipline and self-control, with faith and kindness
and love. And may He bless the sons and daughters who have come into your
homes, that yours may be a fortifying, strengthening, guiding hand as they walk
the treacherous path of life. As the years pass—and they will pass ever so
quickly—may you know that "peace... which passeth all understanding"
(Philip. 4:7) as you look upon your sons and
daughters, who likewise have known that sacred and wonderful peace. Such is my
humble prayer, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen" ~President
Hinckley “Great Shall Be the Peace of
Thy Children” Ensign Nov 2000
Amanda! This is awesome! You are so talented. Thank you for sharing these experiences. - Amy
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