Ingredients
1 lb Asparagus
1 head of garlic
2 tbls olive oil
1 medium onion chopped
1 big girl potty
1 ¼ plus 1/8 tsp kosher salt
2 cups Milk
¼ cup Flour
A bag of Candy
Lots of toilet paper
3 oz cream cheese
2 tbls butter
4 cups chickin broth
The Potty Dance
Directions:
1.
Place potty in area of general play
2.
Watch toddler like a hawk
3.
While watching toddler peel off papery outside
of garlic while keeping whole head intact.
4.
Express frustration that head is not staying
together while attempting to calm your baby.
5.
Give up on the fact that head isn’t staying
together, just pour some olive oil, salt, and pepper over it, wrap it in tin
foil and stick it in the oven.
6.
Snap off tough ends of asparagus and place on
baking sheet.
7.
Inquire of toddler if she has to go to the
bathroom.
8.
Get ignored.
9.
Notice that asparagus stalks are little
old. Well they are getting blended
anyway, so oh well!
10. Take
garlic out of oven, place on baking sheet with asparagus and put the whole
thing back in the oven.
11. Check
directions again to make sure I read that right.
12. Chop
onion and place in pot with unknown amount of olive oil.
13. Place
cream cheese in blender with salt.
14. Reply
to toddler that yes, she can help pour ingredients in blender.
15. Stir
onions so they don’t burn
16. Instead
of letting her do it, quickly pour milk and flour in blender. You just don’t want to deal with the mess
right now.
17. Turn
blender on.
18. Listen
to baby whimper.
19. Poor
milk mixture into pot with onions. Stir
constantly.
20. Turn
heat higher because it isn’t getting to a boil fast enough, and I’m really
hungry!
21. Yay! It’s boiling!
Cover with lid and turn down heat.
22. Hear
from the living room, “Mommy, I have to pee!”
23. Run
to living room, lift toddler on toilet just in time.
24. Celebrate
with toddler her accomplishment of peeing in the toilet. Meanwhile forget about your rue that’s
boiling over and filling the kitchen with a hint of smoke.
25. Wipe
toddler’s bum.
26. Pour
waste into toilet, flush, rinse out potty bowl, replace.
27. Wash
hands.
28. Grab
a few M&M’s and a sucker while turning heat on soup down.
29. Give
M&M’s to toddler and do the Potty Dance. (This consists of clapping and
turning around in a circle singing “yaaaay!” Over and over again).
30. Turn
burner down even more because soup is continuing to boil over.
31. Remove
asparagus and garlic from oven.
32. Figure
out how to get garlic out of papery skin, because even though the recipe says
to use hands to squeeze garlic out, the garlic is too hot to handle.
33. Place
all ingredients in blender in two batches and cream in blender.
34. Listen
to baby scream while saying, “Joseph, it’s okay. Mommy’s here.”
35. Pour
soup back in pot.
36. Pick
up baby
37. Now
what am I going to feed my toddler since she won’t eat this soup? Wait, she has a bag of candy, and a sucker,
she’s fine.
38. Taste
soup.
39. Oh
my goodness! I just stepped into a café
and am having their soup of the day!
40. Go
back for seconds, but am stopped by two unhappy children—naptime.
And this is how you make one delicious potty-training soup!
*If you want the actual recipe for Creamy Roasted Garlic and
Asparagus Soup, it is in Our Best Bites:Savoring the Seasons, which is one of the BEST cookbooks there is. I would highly recommend getting it. (And no, I am not being paid, or asked to say
this).
