From A Sister Who Cares

Prom for girls includes the following:

Getting our hair done.

Getting our nails done.

Putting make-up on.

Finding a dress.

Dear girls who are going to Prom with my brothers,

Don’t you think the last item on the list is the hardest?  You can’t just have any dress.  You have to have the dress.  It has to make you look gorgeous, it has to be different, it has to be you. 

And for a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints it needs to be modest. 

Or does it?

This May mark seven years since my Senior Prom.  At the dance I was sad to see some girls from my church who did not dress modestly.  But that’s okay right?  I mean its Prom for one thing.  And for another, do you know how hard it is to find an inexpensive, modest prom dress that looks flattering on you?  Where I grew up there was one tiny boutique that sold modest dresses.  I could see why some girls would throw in the towel early and opt to go to the mall to find the “perfect” prom dress, even if it was sleeveless or had a slit up the side.  It was easier. 

But here are some words from a sister who cares.

I have five brothers.

I care about my brothers.

I know they have been raised to respect girls.  They view girls as daughters of our Heavenly Father.

I hope that the girls they ask on dates (Prom included) will respect them as sons of God by dressing modestly.

By dressing modestly, girls not only show respect to themselves but to their dates.  It’s been said that by dressing immodestly girls put dirty thoughts into boy’s heads.  It’s also been said that girls aren’t the ones who put those dirty thoughts into boy’s heads; the boys are the ones who allow those thoughts to enter and stay. 

That’s true.  However, can’t the girls help the boys out by dressing modestly? 

Think of it this way girls: you are told that you are to be virtuous in your actions.  You are to run away, like Joseph of Egypt, in any situation that would cause you to compromise your virtue.  So if a guy starts putting a move on you, you are supposed to say, “No way Jose.”  But wouldn’t it be so much easier if Jose didn’t put a move on you?  Wouldn’t it be easier to know that your date would never put you in a situation that would compromise your virtue? 

Have you ever thought the guys think the same thing about modesty?  Wouldn’t it be nice if, when they asked a girl to Prom they didn’t have to worry about her dressing immodestly?  They didn’t have to take their jacket and put it on you because too much of you was showing. 

Girls, I know it’s hard to find a modest dress that every other girl isn’t wearing.  But it’s possible.  I did it.  And a couple weekends ago nearly 75 girls (that I know of) did it. 

My brother attended his Junior Prom.  Well he didn’t actually attend the “real” Prom; he co-hosted the Mormon Prom at my parent’s house.  I was extremely excited that he took a beautiful young lady who dressed modestly.   I was ever so thankful that she chose to respect my brother.  Not only did she dress modestly, but also every girl who attended Mormon Prom. 

As I was scrolling through the pictures several days after Prom, I was pleased to see the many modestly dressed girls.  Each dress had a unique look to it that flattered the girl wearing it.  The girls were absolutely beautiful. 

It proves that girls can find beautiful, unique, modest dresses.

Remember this girl: IT IS NEVER OKAY TO LOWER YOUR STANDARDS.  Two of my former boyfriends, and several of my guy friends thanked me for always upholding my standards.  I’m not telling you this to make me look good, I’m telling you this to help you see the consequences of never lowering your standards.  You will be thanked by the men of your generation for never lowering your standards, even at Prom. 

To my brother’s date for dressing modestly, as well as to all the other modestly dressed girls who attended Prom this year, Thank You.

Sincerely,

From a Sister Who Cares 

Jefferson and his beautiful date!
I love how her dress is high in the front, and long in the sleeves.  

Jefferson and his group.  All modest dresses! 

A blast to the past.  Me on my Senior Prom

The girls in my group.  Notice all the modest dresses, and each on looks fabulous!

A family friend just told me this amazing story about her Prom.

"During Prom we were eating at Fujiyama, and I was in the restroom and a lady stopped me and thanked me for being modest, and not lowering my standards for Prom night.  She said, 'Sometimes girls don't realize that you can still show off your body without literally showing your body.'

"People really do notice!"

Showing off her beauty.  

Am I Adopted?

“Are they adopted or am I?” was a line I frequently said growing up, referring to my siblings.  Most of the time they would drive me crazy!  Yet we have so many wonderful memories together.   Here are just a few . . . I mean a lot.

·      About fifteen years ago Jackson and I had one of our many “I hate you days.”  I posted a sign on my bedroom door inscribed, “No boys allowed, except for nice ones.”  Jackson posted a sign on his bedroom door, which read, “No girls allowed, except for nice ones.”  Clearly neither Jackson nor I fell under the “nice” category.

·      Jackson, Saydi, Harrison, and I would get some type of toy car that we could put stuffed animals in, retreat to the corners of the living room and on “three” push them into the middle of the room, watching them crash and our stuffed animals go flying. 

·      Riding our bikes and/or big wheels around Sparrow Ct. about a zillion times with our neighbor hood friends.  It never got old.

·      The only year we all tap-danced together.  Our tap teacher choreographed a tap dance just for the Ostlers.  We were a hit!

·      Mom and Dad had a surprise for us at Costco.  They told us it went outside, and it was big. We couldn’t figure it out until we went down the trampoline isle.  We haven’t stopped loving our trampoline (I think we’re on our third one now). 

·      The day before Jackson was set a part as a missionary, we somehow found seven pacifiers around the house (or maybe Mom bought them in memory of Jackson).  We all had a pacifier in our mouths that night.

·      Mowing lawns.  Enough said.

Even girls mowed lawns

·      Watching a basketball on the Caribbean Island, Exuma.  We were pretty excited to watch a bunch of island kids throw the ball around. 

·      Listening to Benson’s impersonation of Studio C’s “Bisque” character.

·      Planning our annual New Years Eve party, complete with prizes.

·      Blowing things up at Seaside every 4^th of July.

·      Shucking corn on the deck every summer.

·      Trying to find the perfect New Years Eve outfit with Saydi.  We found these adorable dresses.  I’ll never forget the identical disappointed looks on our faces when we came out of the dressing rooms.  They were both an inch too short.  Later at JC Penny’s we saw a model with a cute cream sweater on.  It didn’t take us long to find it.  I’ll never forget the identical “are you kidding” looks when we came out of the dressing rooms.  The sweaters made us look frumpy.

·      Pulling each other on the sleds behind four-wheelers into the late night (you only get a good snow every once in awhile in Tri-Cities.  We always made the most of it).

·      Going shopping at Marices with Saydi.  I won’t go shopping there with anyone else.  That’s our store. 

·      Bahoonkie!  (Ask Saydi).

·      Riding our bikes around our kid friendly neighborhood.  I’ve wondered from time to time if our mom ever worried about us, or was just glad to get rid of us for about an hour. 

·      Our memorable Nativity reenactments.

Complete with the missionaries! 

·      Hauling small playground rocks up to the top of the “swirly slide” at the park behind our house, and watching them fall down to the bottom of the slide.  We came home with black hands and feet.

·      One year we tried to reenact a commercial we had seen on TV of a shirtless guy with meat strapped to his back running through the woods being chased by wolves.  We had to improvise on a few things.

That's Jefferson if anyone was wondering. 

·      Scripture study has always been interesting at our house.  You just can’t fully describe it. With Harrison reading in a monotone voice, to Saydi reading in an Indian accent, to Wilson screaming his head off for who knows what reason.  At least we read our scriptures!

·      Making tents in our living room and then sleeping in them. 

·      The birthday present Wilson made me.  It was supposed to be a “cup holder.”  It was a piece of wood with nails hammered into it. 

·      Jackson’s first date.  He took me to Howard Amon Park.  We doubled with our mom and dad.  We had a scavenger hunt, and then had hot chocolate and s’mores over a camp stove.  We also discussed who Jackson had a crush on.  I don’t think he ever did that with any other date J

·      The summers of tubing. 

·      And last but definitely not least.  Who can forget “The Wilson Pose”?

Sometimes I still think they are adopted or I am.  But I gotta love my crazy siblings. 

Happy National Sibling Day! 

The Three 'Ps' of Parenting

Lilly was placed on my chest after she was born for some skin to skin bonding time.  She stayed there for thirty minutes.  When they took her off so we could both get cleaned up the nurse said, “Oh no, she pooped on you!”

And that was the beginning of a wonderful relationship!

Since then she hasn’t stopped popping on me.  One time her poop not only sprayed all over me, but also on my dry clean only jacket that was lying behind be.  She’s got good aim.  One time she had such a bad blowout it soaked her clothes clear up to her armpit.  I soon realized pooping wasn’t the only thing Lilly was good at.  She also had a knack for peeing all over herself in that couple seconds when the old diaper is removed from underneath her and the new one is not yet in place.  A favorite pass time of hers is puking all over me, even when I have a burp rag in place.  She still manages to get it on my clothes and down my back occasionally.  (It hasn’t ended up in my mouth yet, thank goodness!)

She even pukes on herself

Pooping, Peeing, and Puking.  Three things Lilly excels in.

Though parenting is messy it has its moments of laughter too.  Every day around 6 a.m. Lilly will wake us up to be fed.  Chris loves the morning smile Lilly gives him.  

When she’s done eating, Lilly will have a dribble of milk coming from her mouth, and sometimes milk is smeared all over her cheek and chin.  I can’t help but laugh.  When she cries she’ll make a sound that sounds like she’s saying “Mah.”  I know I shouldn’t find her crying humorous, but sometimes I do. 

One of her pooping faces

With these fun and exciting times also come those difficult times.   I know I can’t be the only mom who thinks she is incompetent to be a mom.  Wondering why God would call her to be one when she feels she is failing at least several times a week.  Yet God called me, and thousands of others to be mothers.  Some of us don’t have our own children here in this life, for whatever reason, but each woman is a mother to someone in some way.  And God didn’t leave us alone. 

He gave us Prayer, Patience, and Perseverance. 

I think the only time I have ever prayed more in my life is when I was on my mission.  I offer constant daily prayers up to the Lord to help me know how to care for my daughter.  I pray for strength to get through those nights when Chris is gone and Lilly is crying.  I’ve prayed in the middle of the night, in the middle of the day, when all I want is sleep and Lilly is wide awake.  I’ve prayed for the strength to get through each hour.  Though I’ve never had an angel visit me and calm Lilly, I have gotten through those difficult times as a mom.  I believe the Lord is with me even if I can’t feel Him with me all the time.

Even Lilly prays

I have had to work on patience my entire life.  For some reason when it comes to Lilly I am patient…for the most part.  I do have my moments of impatience, but overall I can handle her crying, I can walk around with her on my shoulder much longer than I thought I could, and playing with her isn’t a problem for me.  I know that each stage of her life only happens once.  I try to be patient during the difficult times because I know I’ll be blessed with the fun and good times.

I remember there were a few weeks when Lilly loved waking up at 3 a.m. and staying up until 7 a.m.  If my sleep schedule wasn’t off at that time, it certainly got off!  Then there are the several times when Lilly will go through several diapers in one changing because off all the peeing and pooping she does.  And I can’t forget those long evenings when Chris is gone to school and/or work when I’ve already had a long day and am exhausted.  During these times I know I need to persevere.  It’s more than just enduring.  Enduring is what I did as a kid when my brother would constantly pick on me.  Persevering is what I do when times are really tough as a mom.  I know that Lilly’s crying session will be over, that one day she’ll be potty trained, and Chris will have a set time he’ll come home from work to help me with the kids.  But for now I persevere. 

I have hope in my heart that the Lord will help me through the challenges of motherhood.  I have joy knowing I get to watch my daughter grow up.  I have peace knowing how infinitely she trusts me (for now). 

Though there will continue to be a lot of Pooping, Peeing, and Puking, I thank my Heavenly Father He gave me Prayer, Patience, and Perseverance

We love our little girl